Passively Reckless

I should have eyes on my backside because hindsight has been my primary sight up to now. I generally decide to do something right before I do it. I am also very persuasive in involving others. I think this is because I generally believe my own reasons for what I want, at least while I’m using them. This is a recipe for disaster…and I’ve had a lot of F-5s. I want to learn how to change this on one hand. Oh the other hand, I love being a free spirit.

I don’t even like planning a trip to my sister’s house in Myrtle Beach. I like for us to be on the phone and maybe she says “come over.” Then I say, “Do you mean now?” She’ll say “Anytime, whenever you want.” If I get in the car in the next few minutes, I’m on my way. Otherwise I feel controlled by my own plans and can’t do it. Even today, I have a full suitcase packed with summer clothes sitting at the top of my stairs. I was going to leave it packed so I’d be ready if the mood hit. Now, I think shorts and bathing suits would be a little sparse for the cold weather. On the other hand, being inappropriate sounds a little appealing.

I’m smiling now. It’s that evil smile I used to wear when whispering the only dirty word I knew into the microphone while my large extended family were positioned around our Grand Piano sounding like the Von Trapps in The Sound of Music. The dirty word is one that wouldn’t change a G-rating at today’s standards but it was my instrument of rebellion and I used it with vigor.

Maybe, I can’t change. I think that’s what 2 of my 3 daughters are most afraid of. The other one tiptoes through the tulips with me.