WATCHING NORA WORK: I Learned to do this when we were little and mother said we had to wash the dishes

ONE WORKING....ONE WATCHING...AND ONE BORED BEYOND REASON

The Reckless Thinking Cycle: Justifying vs. Analyzing

My sister Nora came over a few times to plan a business with me. (I thinks she is trying to pull me out of my midlife depression. What she says is that she wants us to teach seminars together.... on strategic thinking.--I'm giggling.) I would be happy to get on stage in front of a lot of people. Maybe I could dance or sing poorly like that bad karaoke in MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING. But…..strategic thinking!!?? How can I teach something I’ve never done?

Strategic thinking seems like something you do to make an outcome more predictable. How much fun is that? Nora said, "Row, let's analyze some of your more reckless decisions and look at ways you could have handled them differently.” One day I said "ok" and we looked at a former vacation of mine to Destin. Several of my family members and my buddy Caroline went on a guided tour, snorkeling here and there along the gulf coast. One of our stops was the jetties, where one often finds an interesting array of fish.

Our guide said something about not swimming out past the jetties. I don't remember him telling us why. Let me tell you something. It was seriously BORING swimming around in that shallow water with all of those boat sitters! So, when the guide wasn't looking and my husband was otherwise occupied, I headed out for deep water.

The deep was awesome and beautiful, so much better that the rocks, reeds, and minnows of the shallow. Well, it was awesome until I realized that it was time to go and I was in trouble. Caught in a strong undercurrent, I was giving it all I had and going nowhere. I panicked and forgot the rules of swimming with the current. I kicked and splashed and fought it with all of my strength.

A fisherman noticed my plight about the time I was ready to give up. He dove in and attempted a rescue. Then the current was too much for both of us. Another man joined and we eventually made it back to shore. Here is how Nora mapped this out for me: (She said I was using a process called the cycle of reckless thinking. I told her that I call it “life.”)

Information: I was out on a guided tour and the guide said not to swim past the jetties.

Interpretation: From past experience, I interpreted this as "The fun must be in the deep water since the guide said not to go there."

Snap Decision: I decided that if I got the opportunity, I'd go for it.

Impulsive Action: Without a further thought, I headed for the "deep end" of the “pool.”

Consequences: The undertow wore me down. When I panicked and started to drown, two other people took risks to rescue me. The boat had to wait for me so a lot of other people suffered because of what I did. For me, the consequence was that I satisfied my thrill factor at others' expense.

Justification: Since I didn't consider possible outcomes before acting, I made up some believable reasons why I did what I did.

The true reason was simple. My thrill factor is quite high. Swimming around in shallow uninteresting water right next to the real thing was just too much to ask of me. Actually, if I had it to do over, I would drive a stake into the ground and take a rope with me. I’m just not wired to kick around in a foot of water.

Nora and I are only 20 months apart in age and raised by the same parents. Yet, we handle our lives quite differently. I think that many of our differences may be based on the fact that Nora always had me to look out for and I always had Nora nearby for a quick rescue. Unfortunately, my participation in our business development has halted. I lasted about two weeks. Then, all of that business talk started feeling like paddling around in the shallow water. Nora gets paid mega bucks for stuff like that. It sucks the life out of me. I told her I might be able to do it if we stuck some "Rosana Rosanadana" stuff in there to liven it up and if I could wear costumes and make faces while we teaching those stiff suited business people.

My six year old grandson (with Aspergers syndrome) is so funny, and so very precious. He tells people that he is a scientist and that he needs scientific equipment. When other children “refuse to learn” he gets so exasperated with them. He says things like, “Mom, those kids don’t care anything about science!” Maybe I’m an adult with Aspergers. Maybe I just need stimulation…like near death experiences….to inspire me. What do you think Nora? Do you still love me? Will you still come over and play if we don’t talk about balanced score cards and increased profitability? I will always adore you. And you will forever by my Yoda.